Featuring Colin Hecht & Trevor Utley
Featuring Colin Hecht & Trevor Utley
By Trevor Utley featuring Josh Souza, Colin Hecht, Matt Sieczkiewicz, Andrew daSilva, & Andrew Sanford
Before each baseball season myself and my friends would make our picks for the upcoming baseball season. This year we actually documented our selections on the site so that at the end of it all we could not only mock each other for such horrible prognosticating skills, but you the reader could do the same. So take a trip down memory lane with us and let's recap the sheer stupidity we exuded during Spring Training.
ALL STAR SELECTIONS
We'll get this one out of the way early because this was entirely a solo mission on my part. We may expand it to include everybody next year just so I don't feel like an even bigger idiot than I already do. If you went through any of the 30 Teams in Under 30 Days articles ahead of the 2015 season, you would have seen my picks for All-Stars from each team at the bottom of each article. I was looking to improve from my performance from last year in which I hit on 45% on the American League All-Stars and 37% on the National League All-Stars. I know that isn't setting the bar very high, but even that low leap was too much for me to handle.
I regressed significantly to 36% for the AL and 33% for the NL. While there was plenty of pats on the back for nailing sneaky selections like Tampa Bay closer Brad Boxberger and Yankees set-up man Dellin Betances, there were ten times as many "What the fuck were you thinking?" picks made. Here are some of the best gems from the NL:
Somehow the American League was so much worse...
Now that my individual shaming has been completed, let's go on to the group humiliation portion of the article! Between the six of us we were able to only get three awards picked correctly. It was a parade of failure as you scrolled down to each successive block of embarrassing forecasts. Well, here's the first float now!
I'm just going to say now that Sanford picked Joe Kelly for every award. So when you see me completely ignoring his input over the next several paragraphs, that is why. American League MVP was an award that we all went all in on. It was Mike Trout or bust for the BYC boys and Josh Donaldson made sure we all suffered the bust half of that equation.
On the National League side, Josh was the only person with the vision to see Bryce Harper morph from a floppy haired doofus to a floppy haired doofus with an MVP trophy on his mantle. Colin had a big swing and a miss with Yasiel Puig. A freak injury wiped out what would have been a solid pick for Matt and Andrew in Giancarlo Stanton. My pick of Andrew McCutchen placed fifth in the voting. Light golf clap for myself.
In all the years we have been making picks as friends, we've never learned not to trust the Seattle Mariners. Again King Felix did the majority of us in. The other non-Joe Kelly selection made was Corey Kluber by Andrew. Kluber couldn't quite recapture the magic of his 2014 Cy Young win, but was better than his 9-16 record suggested. Our two guys finished with 13 combined Cy Young vote points, which would have been good enough for fifth.
Me and Colin got burned by Johnny Cueto's trade in the NL Cy Young, but that is shame on us for not thinking that a guy who had been on the trade block for five years wasn't finally going to get shipped in his contract year. The other three actual pickers made respectable misses in Clayton Kershaw and Max Scherzer. I don't think Jake Arrieta or even Zack Greinke came up in any of our preseason conversations. Boo us.
ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
Rookie of the Year is always one of the hardest awards to project and in the AL this year it was no different. There was such an influx of rookies that not one of us picked the same guy to take home the prize. Not one of us picked the right guy, Houston's Carlos Correa, either. Well at least the majority of us had that puncher's chance. Josh's pick of Francisco Lindor even finished second to Correa. Colin though...oh Colin, Colin, Colin...he picked Mookie Betts, a player ineligible to win the award. Yup that about wraps that up.
The National League ROY was much easier. Just pick a Cub. The majority of us for once actually picked the right one as Kris Bryant took the league by storm, made the All-Star Team and won the award unanimously. Point at laugh at Andrew! Not the one that picked Joe Kelly, the one who went against the grain and picked the wrong Cub Jorge Soler. MUAHAHHAHAHA! It's nice to laugh at someone else's terrible picks for once.
MANAGER OF THE YEAR
We continued the time honored preseason picks tradition of picking a Manager of the Year that ends up being fired. Just a week after the season ended, Mariners' manager Lloyd McClendon (whom three of us picked to win Manager of the Year) got the axe. Can't trust the Mariners...blah blah blah...we never learn...yada yada yada. Colin actually came the closest for once with his pick of Toronto manager John Gibbons. He finished fourth in the voting and even got a first place vote! Way to go Colin! We strive for mediocrity!
The NL Manager of the Year picks showed that the two NL fans in the lot didn't know as much about the NL as we thought we did. While the three AL fans all picked correctly with Joe Maddon, the two NL fans watched their pick Matt Williams get a pink slip after Washington failed to make the postseason. Oh Washington, you and your miserable 2015 is going to feature very heavily in this next segment.
LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP AND WORLD SERIES SELECTIONS
The Royals proved 2014 was no fluke as they returned to the World Series and won the whole damned thing. None of us picked Kansas City to even LOSE in the ALCS. The Indians, Orioles, Angels, Red Sox, and those pesky Mariners all factored into our choices coming out of the AL, but the champs didn't even get a sniff. The only thing you are sniffing right now is the putrid stench coming from said choices.
The Mets came out of left field this year to take the National League, besting the Cubs and Dodgers on their way to the Fall Classic. So of course the kid who picked Joe Kelly to win every award was the only one to choose the Mets to win the National League. We'll ignore that he had them beating the Marlins in the NLCS and give credit where it is due. Colin and Matt both at least had playoff teams in those Cubs and Dodgers, although they each picked them to win it all. Myself, Josh, and Andrew though fell victim to the Nationals hype machine. Not only did we pick the Nats to take the NL, we picked them to win the whole shebang. I can't even make fun of Sanford's Red Sox pick right now I feel so downtrodden.
I miss baseball. I am already looking forward to making horrendous picks next spring. At least I have our EPL picks to hang on to in the mean time. Oh wait, I picked Manchester City to finish outside the Top 4? FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!
Featuring Trevor Utley, Andrew Sanford, & Lou Kessler
By Trevor Utley
On April 14th, 2001, the band Thursday released their second album, Full Collapse. It is one of the if not the most popular album produced by the group. Then-label Victory Records registered the domain fullcollapse.com to serve as the band's official website that same year. The site is no longer in operation but it should be. It should be operated by the Oakland Athletics. This piece will recap what can only now amount to a lost season for the A's through the tracks of the album.
The thirty-six second introductory track to the album has only nineteen words, which is more than was said about the Oakland Athletics this offseason. To be honest, they probably liked it that way. For a team that had a major motion picture made about their organization, the A's like being off the radar. While their American League compatriots New York, Texas, and Seattle splashed cash all over the free agent field, Oakland played their usual game of Moneyball in their acquisitions. Trades netted Oakland a brand new back end of their bullpen in Jim Johnson, Luke Gregerson, and Drew Pomeranz. Low risk, high reward signings Scott Kazmir and Eric O'Flaherty also entered the fold. Top-15 MVP finishers Josh Donaldson and Coco Crisp were returning on club friendly arbitration figures and club options respectively. Oddsmakers had the Athletics at 20-1 odds to win the World Series, a figure commensurate with the Reds or Pirates. I, as many others, had tempered expectations for the 2014 Athletics. Their start to 2014 made all our of our pensiveness look foolish
"Understanding In A Car Crash"
This is probably the most popular track on the album. It is still a part of Thursday's set list today and after thirteen years is a fan favorite, quite a statement for a record that got massive amounts of radio airplay as the first single released. Like the first actual "song" on Full Collapse, the Athletics' first month of play garnered them popularity and respect in the media and around baseball. They were 18-10 after April and were scoring runs at will. Sonny Gray was the American League Pitcher of the Month. They became the darlings of the Majors and overtook Detroit as the favorites to represent the American League in the World Series. I am aware that one month does not a season make, but the A's seemed to have their house in order. They didn't waste any time avoiding their own car crash in removing their most expensive player, Jim Johnson, from the closer's role when his early season woes threatened to derail Oakland's season when it was just one week old. They understood what they needed to do to keep the pole position in the race to the pennant. It seemed early on that there was nothing that could knock them off their course.
It is not to say that Oakland didn't have flaws. It was just that through the first few months they were very good at covering them up. Once Johnson was ousted as closer, Sean Doolittle became an All-Star as his replacement. The starting pitching continued to flourish, as I noted in my article on May 27th, and the lineup just kept on hitting. So I am telling you that their closer was an All-Star, their starting pitching was the best in the sport, and their lineup scored more runs than any other team in the American League; what could possibly be their flaws? The lack of a Plan B. They had the horses to win a title, but as with any sport you need to have reserves in the stable just in case. No team goes through an entire season unscathed and lack of a bench and flexible bullpen arms can doom even the most talented of teams. One would see as Oakland's horses rounded the first turn, the home stretch was a lot farther away than they realized.
"Autobiography Of A Nation"
Oakland began the summer still in first and in control. The Athletics Nation had no semblance of panic in their hearts. Why would they? The division favorite, Texas, had been bitten so many times by the injury bug that they were closer to the bottom of the American League than the apex. The Angels were nipping at their heels, but all too often were reverting to the their under-performing ways of the past couple years. Seattle had not proved themselves worthy adversaries. With the Dodgers and Giants both winning with great regularity in the NL West, talk of 1988 and 1990 World Series rematches became more and more common. I for one, was one of them. There was even a photo set done by a Bay Area studio called "Do The Oakland A's Ever Lose?" Even with all these good feelings swirling in the Bay Area, Oakland seemed uncomfortable with their role as the alpha dog. Eventually they would embrace that position.
"A Hole In The World"
Remember when I talked about a lack of depth being Oakland's paramount imperfection? Oakland wasn't unaware of it. They were just misguided as to where they were lacking said depth. On July 5th, Billy Beane traded his previous two first round picks, shortstop Addison Russell and outfielder Billy McKinney, along with starting pitcher Dan Straily to the Cubs for starting pitchers Jeff Samardzija and Jason Hammel. The saying goes that you can never have too much pitching, but having an embarrassment of riches in lieu of filling other holes is always a potentially combustible strategy. The two former Cubs immediately entered the A's rotation, sending Tommy Milone (6-0, 2.92 ERA in his previous 11 starts) to Triple-A and left Drew Pomeranz, Jesse Chavez, and Brad Mills looking over their shoulders. Samardzija and Hammel were both capable, proven arms, but would the stirring of the rotation pot pay dividends? Or would the additions create unnecessary dissent and tension in the ranks of a squad that seemed to be perfectly gelled? The A's would barely have their answers before they would again ask the question.
"Cross Out The Eyes"
"Cross Out The Eyes" was the second single released from Full Collapse. The Samardzija trade was big, but the second trade that Oakland made for a front line starter was even bigger. The trade deadline brought one of the biggest available fish to the Bay, left hander Jon Lester. The A's were still in first place in the West but their stranglehold on the division was loosening. The Angels and Mariners were mounting offensives but neither team made significant moves on July 31st. The A's decided to be proactive instead of following their pursuers' inactivity. I gave the deal an A+, and Lester won his first three starts for Oakland. However, giving up Yoenis Cespedes proved to be more costly than they had envisioned. They had starting pitching to burn but their once clutch hitting began to sputter. After Lester's third start, the Athletics' full collapse began.
"Paris In Flames"
Oakland's August was only the beginning of the fire. They started off by losing two out of three to the Royals before they seemed to right the ship with series wins over the Rays and Twins. After dispatching the lowly Twinkies, Oakland would only win consecutive games one more time the rest of the month. Oddly enough, that two game winning streak would come at the hands of the team hot on their heels in the AL West, the Los Angeles Angels. On August 16th, for the first time since April 27th, the hunted became the hunters again. With the aforementioned two game toppling of the Angels paired with a win over the Astros, the A's were able to claw level. It was a place that they'd never be again. Oakland was catching fire, and not in a good way. The bad thing is their September would make them yearn for August's inferno.
"I Am The Killer"
If you were going to describe Oakland's August as arson, you would classify their September as a murder. The A's, who had once been in the driver's seat in not only their division but the entire AL, were fighting for their playoff lives. The five game deficit they faced at the start of the month doubled by September 11th. The offense that had laid waste to the competition through the season's preamble, could only muster more than five runs five times over their last twenty five encounters. They couldn't get hits in close games, or get outs in them. The starters and the bullpen were equally inept. Most teams that endured what the A's did in September, such as the 2007 Mets and 2011 Red Sox, had their playoffs hopes were executed. By some act of clemency, the governor wasn't ready to send the A's to the chair just yet.
"Standing On The Edge Of Summer"
There was just one week left in the season and the A's were still clinging to the last Wild Card spot. It was improbable because of what I just described in the previous paragraph, but there they were one game behind Kansas City. Why were they allowed to be so horrible and still have a shot at the postseason? Well, that was because the efforts of the team beneath them were an even bigger clinic in futility. Now I am aware that 10-16 is a worse record than 14-13 but Seattle's pursuit of Oakland couldn't have gone worse. They started off September swimmingly by winning five of six including two wins against the Athletics. After that though, they were 9-12. They could only manage two wins from six games from Houston. They were nearly swept by another team in free fall, Toronto, including a 10-2 trouncing with King Felix on the mound. Every time Oakland would go on a lengthy losing streak, Seattle could never seem to gain ground. Oakland were to be rewarded for being the worst second half team in baseball with a spot in the playoffs.
The Athletics would win their final game of the season 4-0 against Texas. Sonny Gray, whose struggles had coincided with Oakland's downturn, pitched a masterful complete game shutout as only one baserunner reached third base. The bottom of the order supplied the offense with runs being driven in by Josh Reddick, Jed Lowrie, and Stephen Vogt. Normally over the final dreadful month, if the heart of the lineup didn't produce, the A's stood no chance. This was an encouraging performance to show their rabid fans that they still had a bit of fight left in them. Miraculously, after a two month stretch that had slain better teams before them, Oakland was off to Kansas City for the Wild Card game. They had a chance to show everybody that they weren't collapsing, but instead lulling their opposition into a false sense of security.
"How Long Is The Night?"
The AL Wild Card game between Oakland and Kansas City was being billed as a good old fashioned pitcher's duel. Jon Lester is statistically one of the best postseason pitchers of any era. Big Game James Shields got his moniker for moments like this. The first inning was not indicative of the hype preceding the contest. The A's put up two runs in the top of the first on a two run home run by Brandon Moss. Kansas City countered by getting one of those runs back through a Billy Butler RBI single. Lester struggled with his location and in the bottom of the third Kansas City nosed ahead when Lorenzo Cain and Eric Hosmer knocked in runs in consecutive at-bats. It was early but you could see that when Cain crossed home to make it 3-2, Oakland had that "here we go again" look about them. Then the sixth inning came. The A's were able to chase Shields, forcing in Yordano Ventura in an all hands on deck scenario. The fireballing right hander promptly gave up a three run home run to Moss, his second of the game. The dinger was followed by a single, wild pitch, and a deep fly ball that moved the runner to third. Ventura made way for Kelvin Herrera, who didn't fare much better. The sixth inning ended with five runs on the board for Oakland, a crucial momentum swing, and arguably the stingiest playoffs starting pitcher of the 2000s with a four run cushion. There was no way they could blow this right?
That is the funny thing about a team in free fall though, you never quite know when they've hit rock bottom. But when they do, everybody and their mother knows. Since he regained the lead, Lester had allowed just a fluke bunt single in the two subsequent innings. He would have no such success in the eighth. The trade deadline rental could only record one out before hitting the showers. Luke Gregerson would enter the game with men on first and second. Two pitches later there were men on first and third and another run for Kansas City. Gregerson would allow another run via a wild pitch but would make it across his tightrope inning with strikeouts of Salvador Perez and Omar Infante to put a tourniquet on Oakland's bloodletting. I wish that was the end.
After Greg Holland walked over hot coals to get the Royals out of trouble (that he caused) in the top of the ninth, Sean Doolittle was called on to send Oakland to Los Angeles and a chance to get a measure of revenge. The Angels had embarrassed Oakland with the lead they were able to put on them in the division. Three short outs and Oakland could get their comeuppance. Kansas City had other plans. They used their speed, like they had all year, to their advantage in their staving off of elimination. Josh Willingham led off with a pinch hit single off the A's All-Star door shutter. Jarrod Dyson pinch ran for him and was expertly sacrificed to second base by Alcides Escobar. He would then steal third. Nori Aoki hit a sacrifice fly to bring the Royals level. Lorenzo Cain lined out and we were off to extras. The worst pain was yet to come.
There was nothing doing for the first two extra frames. The 12th inning came about and it looked like the first team to make either a mistake or a bold move were going to reap the rewards. Oakland looked to be in the reaping mood when they sent up Alberto Callaspo as a pinch hitter. He lined a single to left off Jason Frasor, the Royals' seventh pitcher of the evening, and the A's were back in front. Normally, a run in the top of an inning in extras is just as good as one in the bottom. The game is normally over. The Oakland Athletics 2014 season was anything but normal. Dan Otero came on for his second inning of work to try to shut the door on Kansas City. Otero has been a Bay Area lifer as a professional, only playing for San Francisco and Oakland in his short career thus far. He was 8-2 this season out of the A's pen and did not allow a run in 5 2/3 innings last October. You should know how this story ends by now. Otero gave up a triple to Eric Hosmer and a Christian Colon single that made it 7-7. Fernando Abad would replace Otero for one out before Jason Hammel, beyond a disappointment in Oakland, placed the final nail in the Athletic coffin. THE FULL COLLAPSE HAD BEEN COMPLETED.
"I1100" was an underwhelming end to Full Collapse. The end to the Oakland Athletics' season was even more depressing. A team that did everything "right" had everything end up so "wrong." The backlash on the A's front office, one that had been lauded for years, forced Billy Beane to defend the Jon Lester trade over the past couple days. Yes, one of the most highly regarded GM's had to defend trading for an ACE. That is what a collapse will do to even the sanest of fans. What happened to Oakland this year will never happen again. I am not saying that there will never be another collapse in baseball, that is naive. I am just saying that nobody will take their fans to the top and to the bottom in both the regular season AND playoffs, ever again.
For some reason, if you saw Full Collapse and thought this was going to be an article about Thursday, I apologize. But since you've made it this far, I might as well put the album here for you to reminisce to. Cheers!
Image Credit: Full Collapse (wikipedia.org)
Video Credit: Full Collapse Full Album (lubylu312/Youtube.com)